Try Try Try

I’ve written at length elsewhere about my divers(e) trials around acquiring (or not) the taste of various precarious substances, including whiskey. The short of it is that I am becoming much more familiar with where I reside in that immense space.

Following our move to Maine, I had to restock my liquor cabinet from scratch, where that process dovetailed with my watching a bunch of the (Irish people) TRY Channel; in fact, their trials influenced some of my purchases — if one of their otherwise-whiskey-averse folks ended up expressing a tolerance for a certain kind of drink, then I figured that I’d give it a shot (not every time, but sometimes).

Lyrics then started to emerge regarding some poor bastard (i.e., approximately me) who’s trying to be open minded and polite in his reviews as he is exploring potential acquisition, but ends up going increasingly off the rails as the shots become nastier and nastier… all while his comrades are waxing orgasmic about transcendent notes of oak, caramel, smoke, leather, enlightenment and citrus citrus citrus. I started to ymagine him using similar wording across the song in his attempts to keep sounding optimistic, but the apparent meaning would change over time to reveal the truth.

I started out to write a villanelle, partly just to try a new sort of structure (beyond my more typical verse, verse, chorus and similar), but mostly because there are two lines that repeat four times (each), verbatim, while their meaning changes with the context; in my opinion, Sylvia Plath’s “Mad Girl’s Love Song” is the best example of a villanelle. With that in mind, I was thinking about phrases whose ambiguity is canonical (and so could change across the poem), such as, “I can’t recommend such-and-so highly enough,” “I’ll never forget this moment,” or, “I never would have guessed that whiskey could be made to taste like that.”

I have come across that first sentence multiple times while working on admissions committees, and it is code: the author is worried that the person whom they are referring will read the letter of reference, so they want (a) everything to sound positive while (b) conveying to practiced reviewers the notion that the author does not actually hold the referred person in sufficiently high esteem.

The problem, however, turned out to be that the set of such phrases is limited, and if you play around with the wording that you intend to repeat (to support the consistent rhyme and meter and so on of the poem/lyrics), then you lose the sense of familiarity.  So I gave it up and just went with more of an Irish drinking and/or festival song. The music is similar to what I made for a couple of other works.

The (im)moral of the story: One person’s craic is another one’s gak. (Which, come to think of it, is yet another lyric.)

The double-walled glass on the cover is from Viski, where its subtly fluted interior promotes aeration as you swirl the liquid.

[2026-05]

Lyrics

Everyone loves it

So how come don't I?

Bring me a new one

I'll give it a try

Sláinte and cheers

And here's mud in yer eye!

Oak and vanilla and citrus and pine

Never forget how it first bit my tongue.

Bourbon like this one

    I'll give it a nine!

I can't recommend this dram highly enough.

Hey...

They sure don't make 'em like this anymore!

Everyone loves it

So how come don't I?

Bring me a new one

I'll give it a try

Sláinte and cheers

And here's mud in yer eye!

Smoke, sarsaparilla and citrusy wine

Delicate balance 'tween mercy and mung.

Whiskey like this one

    I'm sure would be fine!

I can't recommend this shot highly enough.

Well...

You sure won't find 'em like this anymore!

Everyone loves it

So how come don't I?

Bring me a new one

I'll give it a try

Sláinte and cheers

And here's mud in yer eye!

Yolk and chinchilla and giblets and brine

Must light a fire when fume hits the bung.

Rye spice like this one

    is your taste not mine!

I can't recommend this slug highly enough.

Uhm...

We sure don't buy 'em like this anymore!

Everyone loves it

So how come don't I?

Bring me a new one

I'll give it a try

Sláinte and cheers

And here's mud in yer eye!

Choke and gorilla and shitrus and swine

Bouquet of flavor to cough up a lung.

Scotch peat like this one

    I don't wanna whine!

I can't recommend this swill highly enough.

Gack...

I tell ya I'd rather sip piss off the floor!

Everyone loves it

So how come don't I?

Bring me a new one

I'll give it a try

Sláinte and cheers

And here's mud in yer eye!

Cuz...

I know that I'll hate it but gimme one more!

Everyone loves it

So how come don't I?

Bring me a new one

I'll give it a try

Sláinte and cheers

And here's mud in yer eye!