I don’t t swear very often, or with substantial intensity… just mild expletives. And not for name calling. I do not use words that are abusive of social groups to which I do not belong, such as for women or people of color. When I do swear, the purpose tends to be:

• a matter of prosblemania;
• a muttered expression of frustration;
• masking to blend in with a particular crowd;
• making people laugh because it is out of character for me; or
• a shared sense of humor with a very small cadre of close people (where I am at my most obscene in conversations with my brother, of course, who is hilariously irreverent).

I do not engage in vulgarity, profanity, or obscenity in open engagements at work. I’ve used the word “shit” in email a dozen times across 20 years to mean “stuff,” which some identify as vulgarity (i.e., crude or low-class); however, the intent is to establish a warm context of trust that is reflected in safety and informality. That very crudeness can help to reduce stress for people involved in the exchange. They relax. It offsets the legal jargon. It is a vital aspect of the love language that I learned from my dad and grampa. It is my family’s culture.

It is part of who I am.

Anyway, I am now in trouble at work for using the word “shit” in email. I won’t go into onerous detail, but they added this offense to a list of “concerns” as part of a larger campaign to protect a supervisor who is trying to bully me into being more “normal” (i.e., it is support for a planned program of cultural imperialism). Their notion that I should infantilize my language (e.g., “things turned to doo-doo”) is a type of censorship that highlights the parental approach to management at my agency. (There is now some hope of change for the better.)

The thing is, it seems that they are pursuing this strategy largely by reflex, with very little awareness about the types of oppressive strategies that they are using; nonetheless, it is still painful, and wears on my health. That much they know.

So, given this context, I would like to be clear: while I felt inspired to write this song due to my self-expression having been targeted, the lyrics include some fictionalization (about HR people and so on), and they also refer to a broader array of incidents. The HR people where I work are great, in terms of who they are. I like them.

I just don’t like a core part of what they are doing. I don’t like censorship being wielded by the dominant paradigm.

I did ask them for their list of forbidden words. They actually scoffed, saying that it would be impossible to make such a list. But “shit” is definitely on the list of words that they say is impossible for them to make.  (Melissa Mohr managed it in Holy Shit.)

So fuck `em (he opined hwimsically).

Lyrics

(explicit)

What counts these days as explicit language?

What makes the Bluenoses clutch at their pearls?

I wrote "things turned to shit" in email at work

And now I'm targeted by HR mean girls.

Are kids really hurt by a word like "ass"

When I was three it was no vulgarity.

Keep your "bottom" and "buttocks" and "bum."

Saying "ass" didn't keep me from earning a PhD.

Did saying "shit" doom my eternal soul?

Am I not worthy of your company?

Shove your demand for "doo-doo" and "poo."

Saying "shit" didn't keep me from raising a family.

Ass, shit, hell, damn, and fuck!

What counts these days as profane vocab?

What makes the pious folks clasp rosary beads?

My boss said "Jesus" to a student today

But HR says I have special needs.

I hear you say "heck" and "gosh" all the time.

You think kids don't know what that means?

You better `n me just cuz I'm honest with "hell"?

It feels like Balzac got kicked in the penes.

Sometimes I say "damn" in front of my kids.

You think that makes me a dick?

You can scold me for scorching your puritan ears.

At least I'm not a sanctimonious prick.

Ass, shit, hell, damn, and fuck!

What counts these days as obscene jargon?

What makes the Red Staters clench anal beads?

To comfort a friend, I said "that really sucks.”

Then HR said screw their emotional needs.

I hear "what the fuck" all over the place,

At work and at school and all that shit.

But write it in Slack and next thing I know,

I've got holy HR pitching a fit.

And what's so bad about "motherfucker," you scrote?

Teachers say it in class all the time.

Isn't the oppression of young minds the point?

Gotta force the little twats to color in the lines.

That was sarcasm, you festering nutsack!

Ass, shit, hell, damn, and fuck!

What counts these days as over the top?

What makes my pompous boss snort smelling salts?

Whenever you try to nail my mouth shut,

the blowback is your own fucking fault.

Ass, shit, hell, damn… and fuck.

Not to mention... "sonofabitch!"